Dreaming Portal

it's been awhile..

2007-11-07T16:17:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile. that's my common line to my orgmates and HS classmates. ever since practicum began, i would only see or talk to my closest friends (mostly angel, tin and maite), fellow practicumers and my family. it's amazing how these people would make time no matter how busy they could be. i guess i'm just really lucky to have friends and family who still care and make time for the people they love. =)

pracitcum is fun. it's fun teaching children with autism. exhausting. tedious. tough. but still real fun. =) i learned so much from my fellow practicumers, my CT, our teacher-aid, and of course, my students. to make the most out of the things you already have. no matter how simple it may be..it can still make a big difference.

now, it's time to look for work. i'm still pursuing to teach children with autism. but i guess i'm going to start teaching in a regular setting first. preferably preschool. haha. practicality vs principles. and since i'm still starting (plus I need to earn at least some money), I would go to the practicality side first. and then tutor children with autism as a sideline. haha. it's so nice to just dream of the things you want to do. I just don't know if I can make them happen yet. we'll see what opportunity comes. haay..more changes to come. hehe. just keep them coming. =) bahala na si batman =) for now, i'll just enjoy my 1 1/2 month vacation with my mom, ate dada, and kuya mark =)

Paperbag Puppets

2007-09-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

Though it took me 4-5 hours to paint the paperbags, trace the patterns and cut the colored papers, it was really worth it cause my students really enjoyed making the puppets. All they did was put glue using a paintbrush and paste the patterns on the paperbag. But you could let your students cut the patterns and color them if you want. =) Here are the puppets we made:

There are more animal patterns for paperbag puppets in the DLTK's Crafts for Kids website. Just click here.

Painting Clay for Kids

2007-09-08T08:01:00.000+08:00

Lots of trial and error in finding a good clay recipe for Arts and Crafts. I even used the really sticky one...and it was hard for my students to shape them. Lesson learned: never use non-cooked clay for shaping and always make time to test any cooked materials. I didn't have time before..finishing papers for my prof and the school can be time-consuming enough. BUT, I finally found a good recipe. My students really enjoyed painting them. Though the clay is edible, they were really tempted to eat them while painting. So just be careful. =)

Keep it Clay
This mixture dries VERY hard great for making jewerly like beads etc.

1 (1-pound) box baking soda
1 cup cornstarch
1 1/4 cups cold water
Food coloring (Gel is best or leave it plain and paint later)
(the baking soda and the cornstarch cost P66.00 when you buy in Shoppersville, along Katipunan. this recipe is enough for only 5-10 students if you want it for an Arts and Crafts activity. but for a bigger class, you can use it during their playtime or just increase the measurement of the ingredients.)

Mix baking soda and cornstarch together then add water. Cook and stir over low heat until consistency of mashed potatoes. Remove the dough from the heat and cover with damp towel until it is cool enough to handle. Use for play dough or jewelry shaping or roll it out and cut with cookie cutter to make decorations.
Store in an air tight container.

For more clay recipes, just click here.

Tying Shoelaces and Overboard Communication

2007-08-27T14:53:00.000+08:00

i was looking for pictures about tying shoelaces for my students (with autism). i thought i would really have a hard time looking for one but the presentation of these pictures are very clear and i think my students would not be too frustrated with them (given that i would add arrows or markers to emphasize the action(s) of the step).

here are some of the picture that i found:

Make two loops or bunny ears

Position ear loops to form an "X"

Insert upper ear into the bottom hole of the "X"

Tighten loop by pulling ears apart

Cool! I find the website really interesting. But for the more elaborate version, you can just click here. There are other kinds of knots that are shown in case you want to teach your students, kids or...you want to do them yourself. =)

I also use the overboard communication program for my students since most of them need to learn how to initiate communicating their needs/wants. You can download a free trial here (it's only good for one month though) and see if it works for your students, especially for those who are just starting to communicate.

This is one example of a communication board. I got it from this website.

You Raise Me Up (Idol Gives Back)

2007-04-26T20:08:00.001+08:00

Sudorku Puzzle

2007-04-26T01:17:00.000+08:00

I'm not really a fan of sudoku puzzles..but i just saw this from a Foxtrot fan website. Just click on the image so that you can solve the puzzle even better. Hehe. Enjoy! =)

If you want to see the solution, click here. (Thanks to another website..hehe)

while fixing my things

2007-04-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

never expected to find a copy of this poem just hiding beneath a pile of handouts.

Be patient
Try to love the questions.
Do not seek the answers
which cannot be given:
You would not be able to live them.
Live everything.
Live the questions now;
You will then gradually
without noticing it
Live into the answers
some distant day.

(Rainier Maria Rilke)

My Other Blog

2007-04-24T10:05:00.000+08:00

I have another blog: it's http://therubymoonstone.blogspot.com. You can check it out. :) Hope I can maintain it though. Palagay ko madalas lang akong mag-update ng blogs dahil wala pa masyadong ginagawa. Let's wait 'til my driving lessons and job application(s) come in.

And also, i just lost my cellphone. please send me a message in my friendster or YM account (keena09@yahoo.com) so that i could give you my new# :)

reading

2007-04-20T16:53:00.000+08:00

after coming to educ's graduation ceremony (probably my last educ choir activity for the summer) and sleeping, i just kept on reading and surfing the internet. haha..i also come across with this article if you guys are interested in this. for those who are extremely vain and want to look good while working, it might help..hehe. =)

having nothing to do (that is not looking for part-time work yet)..i prepared a list of books to read for the summer. i bought those books during the second semester..and even borrowed one from Mel (one of my closest friends in ictus) but i haven't started reading them. well.. i just read a few chapters but i wasn't very consistent because..i don't know why but i got easily tired last sem, so i preferred sleeping. or i just read (or reread) comics and graphic novels (Sandman!) instead. oh well..there's plenty of time this summer anyway. =)

i'm so excited to watch the simpsons movie! given that i'm a simpsons addict..and i don't get tired of watching the episodes. i just saw the third trailer! heehee =) can't wait to see them, especially homer! =)

funny video

2007-04-19T19:36:00.000+08:00

just got home from educ and ictus choir practice. hehe =) i had nothing to do so i went to youtube and typed "funny videos" on the search engine. this is the second video that appeared on the list.

it's so cool. they're so synchronized. and it's funny how the guy keeps on singing the lyrics while dancing on the trendmills. and it's so fun to do!! hmm..now i have one motivation to start going to the gym..haha! =)

Bridge to Terabithia

2007-04-19T14:30:00.000+08:00

After going to educ's baccalaureate mass, i tried visiting bro bros (miss ko na siya eh) but he's not there in Loyola House! Oh well. So I just went home and watched the Bridge to Terabithia. Here's the trailer:

I guess I'm expecting that the story would be about this new world Jesse and Leslie (the major characters of the movie) are creating. That there would be trouble in Terabithia and they have do something to save "their kingdom"..that is after watching that trailer. But in the movie, they just keep on creating new things that is far from reality. Although the mythical creatures (i.e. dragonfly warriors, dark master, giant troll, etc) makes the movie more interesting, but the kids just spontaneously use their imagination. They imagine Terabithia and then go back to reality. And that's it. Then again, the special effects are really good anyway =) But the best part of the movie is how it ended. The ending may be a bit heavy for a kiddy movie. But I didn't find it too tragic..maybe it just proves that the best way for you to become stronger is to experience to lose something you've always have..or you think you will always have. Argh! I can't put it into words. Okay here it goes: That losing something or someone must not stop you from living or in the movie, imagining one's life and make it more beautiful.

"You have to believe it and you hate it. I don't have to believe it and I think it's beautiful."

Haha. Time to go back to educ. I still have another practice at 4pm for the invocation of the graduation tomorrow. After all of this, I'll start looking for work.

changing

2007-04-19T00:51:00.000+08:00

I need to find something to do for the summer. It scares me how I have too much free time..I become very reflective..too reflective that I begin thinking about lots of things..and it's not very healthy. I'll just finish participating for the baccalaureate mass for educ tomorrow (I just started joining their practices last Monday), and start polishing my resume. I'll fix my room and all of my handouts during the weekend. Then I'll go look for a part-time job next week. If nothing happens, I'll finally apply as a volunteer storyteller for Adarna House. At least I'll start doing something else..although earning money would be really better nowadays.

It's been awhile since I last prayed seriously. Because of the acad load and org activities for the past months, praying has been on the rocks for me. Yeah. It's not an excuse but..it's all I can think of. Probably, I don't give enough time. I keep on telling Him about what's been happening..and the most important thing I forget to do is listen to Him and know who He truly is, as what I've realized in my SD sessions with Bro. Bros. (Haha..it has also been three months since my last session). But during the middle of the schoolyear, I start listening to what He's telling me.
I remembered my professor, Sir Aureaus, telling us that we need "aesthetic distance" so that we would not read too much what we all ready see. But then he added, not to make that distance too long because the inspiration may fade away. Ah. Now I remembered why I wasn't as consistent in praying as before. I've been trying too hard. And as I mentioned in my last entry, "That when you struggle even more, things can get worst."

So I went out instead. And I appreciated even more what is around me..at home, in school, in ictus, csc choir, upsec, everywhere. Even though some moments make you want to fall apart, I still have faith as almost everyone around me have.

But now is the best time to talk to Him again. I just did. It made me have a different view of the things or changes happening now. It really depends how we adapt to these changes..if you're willing to make new things along with that change...to fight or to allow these changes to lose the good things that you already have.

Although I know we can't have everything. But..I guess I prefer fighting and getting hurt in the end than regretting something I should have done.

Random Thoughts

2007-04-17T21:49:00.000+08:00

I guess this is what you get when you try too hard. Sometimes, I wouldn’t really know if the one that I’ve been working hard for would do me (and other people) any good or would only bring more harm. That when you struggle even more, things can get worst.

Argh! I’m being dramatic again. That’s why I’m so glad I saw Tin (my orgmate in ictus) after her law interview. I really enjoyed my afternoon because of her. =) And this Friday, I’ll be seeing Angel, one of my closest friends in the org. Haha..I just realized that we have a picture together.

That was taken last October. We went to Sta. Lucia to visit Ryan and Angel’s ice cream store/stall. And I have to treat Angel this Friday as a post-celebration of her birthday. Last year, we watched “Meet the Fockers” then ate in Burgoos. It was so funny cause in the movie, Dustin Hoffman kept on saying about eating chimichanga, which is also the free appetizer served in Burgoos. I guess we took it as a sign. =) So I’m so psyched where we would go next.

I’m still waiting for the official approval from the university registrar to substitute my Math courses to GE. As always, the registrar is thrilled to keep students waiting for their announcements. And to think that the last day of registration for the summer is tomorrow! So I must know asap if I need to enroll for two MST subjects or not. Although Tin told me not to worry since it’s already approved by the Math dept and Educ, I just want to be sure everything would be okay before I (hopefully) graduate next sem. I don’t want to be delayed even more because of that.

What I want to do this summer:

Find summer tutorial work..I still don’t know where. I need to ask help from LA and Maite about it.
Enroll in a driving school along katipunan
Read, read, and read about teaching children with autism or mental retardation..just to prepare for my practicum

I really want to make the most out of the time I have, especially this summer. After practicum, my mama wants me to go to the States until December. Wow. At first I was hesitant to go. I don’t know why. Maybe I want to work right away when given the opportunity. But then again, my sister told me I need a break from all the acads and org activities that I had. So, I’ll stay there until my birthday. Turning 22. Wow. I can’t believe it. But it would be interesting to celebrate my birthday in a different place and with my relatives in the States. Something new for a change. Ever since last school year started, I’ve been trying to do some things I’ve never done before. Yeah. I still get scared..most of the time really. But, what the heck. I have nothing to lose so might as well do it. =)

My last entry, Silence, is for my grandmother who passed away that time. And a lot of us were overwhelmed by it, for so many reasons. Please kindly pray for her and her family as well. =)

Silence

2007-04-09T20:37:00.000+08:00

That's all I can say.

end of panic episodes..for now

2007-04-04T21:19:00.001+08:00

I just saw my grades for my creative writing (CW 140) and comparative lit (CL 121)class! =) Pumasa ako! I can't believe it! Especially in my CL 121 class! Haha..I even asked my prof before if he's still going to give a final exam. He told us that we should have a comprehensive exam for finals..based on the results of our first exam..huhu. But he just told me with a smile, "No. No. You don't have to worry about it anymore." HWAT! I wanted to tell him if he had noticed my standing is not so good..plus I'm graduating next sem and I don't want to be delayed even more because of that. But apparently, I still made it. Yehey!=) Hehe..But no matter how difficult his subject was for me, I still enjoyed his class discussions. And now I like him even more..kasi pumasa ako! Haha! =) Finally! Tuloy na talaga ang 13 units ko next sem!! =)

Those are the two subjects that I've been worrying about this semester. I don't know. I guess I'm not used with that kind of classroom set-up..Mommy Jo even told me, "Ayan. Ma-aapreciate mo na lalo ang mga pinag-aaralan natin sa SpEd." Which is absolutely true. I'm more eager to read more and study (yes. study!) for SpEd during the sem. though CW 140 and CL 121 really gives good training to me but...let's just say that there are some things not meant for me. It's the kind of subject I won't be studying for the rest of my life. Their interesting but..I'll leave them to the language majors. =)

LA and I are going to find work next friday. Woohoo! =) Although she's already offering me another tutorial job starting next schoolyear. But it's every Monday to Thursday, 5:00pm-6:00pm..exactly after my practicum so I don't know if I would accept the job. And it's in Marikina. If I would be taking my practicum in Bridges School (near Tomas Morato or Quezon Ave..not sure), I won't make it on time. Hay. I'll just continue looking for another part time job.

from the Official Peanuts Website: http://www.snoopy.com

Moe Szyslak

2007-04-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

Obviously, I have nothing else to do but update my blog. And I can't sleep! I must get use to this kind of schedule until I find a part-time job. My last summer job was an enrichment reading and writing session for a 10-year-old boy. The head of the center told me how much he had fun when I used the "camping set-up" for storytelling. I used mats and a big night lamp, and brought some food just for fun. Hehe =) I really enjoyed that session. But now, I have more time to rest for the holy week and I've been watching The Simpsons (their 18th season).

I was never really interested to Moe Szyslak, the famous bartender of Springfield. He's just this character who owns a bar, almost rude to everyone else..he's funny but I didn't know there's so much depth to his character until I watched the sixth episode from this season. When Homer forgot to go fishing with Moe for his birthday, Moe sent this letter:

Dear Pus Bag,
Birthdays never meant squat to me.
Then you offered to take me fishing,
And like a stumble bum chump,
I dared to hope.
But you shattered my dreams
Like a duff tall boy in a bar brawl,
And you jammed the jagged neck
Right up my heart's butt.
I guess I just wasn't meant to be happy, or handsome
Or anything really.

Poetry. Yes. Who would have thought of Moe as a writer? So Lisa helped Moe to "unleash" his poetic side. Lisa arranged Moe's written phrases that are just posted in his apartment, and even gave a title for the poem:

Howling like a Concrete Moon

My soul smells like a dead pigeon after three weeks,
I shut my window and go to sleep.
In my dream, I eat corn with my eyes.

Short but substantial. Of course, Homer does not want to be left out and shows his own "creation" as well.

I wrapped a rapping tomato.
That's right a rapping tomato.
I wrapped all day from April to May.
And guess what, it was me.

Heehee. =) I still find Homer adorable though. =) Haha..who would have thought that poetry can be part of the show. But I like the last part of the episode the most. Apparently, he wanted to be acknowledged alone in making the poem which made Lisa so upset. So Moe made a poem to apologize for his actions.

Ode to Liza

Pointy-headed mini-muse
More friend that I deserved,
You pulled me from the dirt,
And made me the beautiful flower that I am.
But some flowers can stab you in the back.
For which I should send you flowers,
Which I will, but they were closed.
You will be getting them tomorrow.

Just something to think about. =) Hehe..simple but profound. Hope that there could be more people like that =) Anyway, I really enjoy knowing Moe's character after watching that episode. Something to look forward to even more. =)

"Well, if I'm gonna fight, I might as well win."

Yehey! =)

2007-04-02T23:21:00.003+08:00

I just submitted my last requirement for the semester. Woohoo!! Yehey!! =)
Time to look for work..hmm..i wonder where i could find centers accepting new tutors. OR! i could finally become a storyteller for adarna house this summer! if they would accept me though..hehe =) i'm still hoping my grades for the semester will be okay. Sana walang sabit..hehe =) if that happens..no more summer class and 13 units next semester!! can't wait =)

hehe..i love this song! only hoping that my voice can sound like that. i can imagine Tin (my orgmate) laughing at me. after submitting that last requirement, kung gaano kasaya sila kumanta sa video..ganun din ako kasaya! =)heehee =) ang saya pa ng song! =)

And I'm Telling You

2007-04-01T08:38:00.000+08:00

This is the original version of "And I'm Telling You" by Jennifer Holiday. She's the first one to be casted as Effie White from the hit-broadway musical (turned into movie) "Dreamgirls". Haha. I've been reading about the movie and the broadway version. I've even watched the movie for..the nth time already. Well, enjoy the video. =) I'm sure a lot of you have seen Jennifer Hudson's version..so let's see how Jennifer Holiday earned her 1982 Tony Award for Best Lead Actress in a musical.

More Than You Can Give

2007-03-30T19:52:00.000+08:00

Amazing. I have this classmate who is willing to go to my house and bring this handout that I need for my reaction paper in EDSP 129. It is due on Monday that's why I sent text messages to some of my classmates for the copy. In the beginning, I only asked her if she could leave the handout at the counter of the educ guard. Without hesitation, she just asked me if I live near UP and offered to go to my house instead. I told her that my house is really out of the way..actually near Marikina. But she doesn't mind. And the most surprising part about it, I am not entirely close to her. We just have casual conversations in the classroom; but, here she is..doing something out of her own will. Ang galing lang talaga.
Most of the time, I think too much in making my decisions. There are a lot of factors that I begin considering. Would I have the time to do this? Wouldn't it be wrong being involved with something too complicated? But I was inspired by my classmate. She wasn't hesitant to do it. She just did it. Nakakagulat talaga. Sana dumami ang mga taong katulad niya.

Toxic

2007-03-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagagawa..pero mukhang natatapos ko ang mga kelangan gawin. Nakakapagod lang talaga.

Monday (March 26):
EDSP 129 Final Exam -sobrang favorite ko si Teacher Therese pero matrabaho talaga ang essay exams niya.

Tuesday (March 27):
EDSP 124 Mock Conference for Assessment and IEP Presentation -buti na lang magkasundo kami ng groupmate ko dito =) nakakatakot pero okay naman ang kinalabasan =)

Wednesday (March 28):
Group Meeting with Mommy Jo for EDSP 124 IEP
Review Session ng EDRE 146 Paper & Exam with Mommy Jo din..hehe =)
AT, approved na ng Math Department na gawin GE ang mga Math courses ko nung second year! Kung okay lahat ng subjects ko this semester, 13 units na lang next sem!! =) woohoo!! =)

Thursday (March 29):
EDL 111 Final Exam -nakakapagod sumagot ng isa pang essay exam.
EDRE 146 Final Exam -mahirap din. sobra. mukhang invalid ang test na binigay sa amin..hehe..
EDRE 146 Final Paper: Test, Test Statistics and Analysis -ang dahilan
kaya hindi ako masyadong nakapag-aral sa mga exam
Meeting with Bro Junjun: Mabuti na lang at nagkita kami para pag-usapan ang recollection for CSC choir. Parang madami ata akong nakwento sa kanya. Hehe. Buti na lang mabait si Bro Junjun. =)

Friday (March 30):
CW 140 Character Profile: Essay about Bro. Ernald =) masaya to!
CW 140 Essay about children with autism. sana magamit ng mabuti ang mga research at interview na ginawa uli. Haha. Dahil madalas ko ng nakakausap ang mga teacher assistants for children with autism (pati na rin MR) at madalas ko pang nakakasama ang mga students, mukhang ito na talaga ang pipiliin kong specialization. =) sana malaman ko na kung ano talaga ang gusto kong gawin.

EDSP 124: IEP -ang pinaghihirapan namin ni Mommy Jo

Monday (April 2):
EDSP 129 Universal Lesson Plan -hindi ko pa nasisimulan to!! pero mukhang masaya siyang gawin. gagawa kami ng lesson plan for mainstreaming. 15 students sa class, isang may visual impairment, isang may hearing impairment, at isang may wheelchair bound. matrabaho kasi titignan talaga ang bawat abilities ng lahat ng students (kelangan gumawa ng profile for each student)..pero masayang gawin. =)
EDSP 129 Reaction Paper
EDSP 124 Psychoeducational Assessment -hay. eto ang pinaghihirapan ko for almost half of the sem. Pabalik balik sa Speciabilities at pangugulit sa kanilang secretary, teachers, at teacher assistants. Sana okay ang kakalabasan.
EDSP 124 Reaction Paper

Malapit na matapos!! Andami rin palang nangyayari. Hindi pa kasama yung nangyari din last week. Hehe. Isa pang toxic week yun. Malapit na naman matapos ang sem! =)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2007-03-25T16:34:00.000+08:00

I really love this movie. Because there are a lot of things that you want to forget. But in the end, these things are worth remembering because you learn, forgive, and strive to become better than what we already are. We have faith in life. We hope to go to the direction meant for us..or at least would lead us to the path where we truly belong. (Haha..Hang-over sa reaction paper ko about Saint Augustine)

"Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."
"Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks."
"Look it out here, it's all falling apart. I'm erasing you and I'm happy."
"Sorry...I'm just trying to be nice."
(All of those: Joel)

"Sometimes I don't think people realize how lonely it is to be a kid."
"I apply my personality in a paste."
(All of those: Clementine)

"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."
"Adults are like the mess of sadness and phobias."
(All of those: Mary)

"How happy is the blameless vessel's lot
The world forgetting by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd." (from Alexander Pope's poem)

Joel: Wait.
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. Just wait..for awhile.

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

You can also check out their website: http://www.eternalsunshine.com
Hehe..nakakatuwa features nila =)

Prayer Concert

2007-03-05T01:44:00.000+08:00

Pagkatapos ng madaming practices at pangungulit ng mga choir mems, natapos na rin ang prayer concert. Ang galing ng mga choirs na kumanta. Sobrang nag-enjoy ako pakinggan ang Kinema ("Stand up for love.."). Hay. One of my last choir moments with ICTUS before I graduate. Or at least before I leave ICTUS since I'll still be graduating next sem. Sometimes, I would want to think that I can still join the org for my last sem. Just to attend school, choir practices, or at least ictus/students' mass. But then again, focus. There is a need to focus on my acads for me to graduate. And..it's not that I'm leaving the org...but, as mentioned by my fellow ictusian, I need to move onto another phase. I'll continue being an ictusian but only in a different venue. Haha. Napaka-senti mode naman nito. I want to work during the first semester. Kahit simple tutorials..feeling ko kasi may kulang pa sa ginagawa ko. Hindi enough yung natutunan ko sa course. Puro theoretical lang kasi at mas kelangan ko pa ng maraming experience para makapagturo ng maayos. Kahit nag-prepracticum na kami (150+ hours din yun), marami pang rin kelangan malaman. Pero may panahon pa naman para mag-enjoy sa ictus kaya lulubusin ko na. =)

Pag-iisip

2007-02-25T18:16:00.000+08:00

Hay. Hindi na matapos-tapos lahat ng requirements. Sunod-sunod na silang dumarating bawat linggo. At gusto ko pang mag-graduate..ayoko na magpa-delay pa ng matagal kaya kelangan mag-seryoso sa acads.

Hehe..ngayon ko lang nakita ang pic na 'to :)

Kahit andaming ginagawa ngayong taon..gumagaan ang loob ko pag nasa CLA. Doon lang lumalakas ang boses ko at nagiging sobrang hyper para sa mga kids. mamimiss ko talaga magturo sa CLA. =)

Hindi ko pa nga alam kung sa'n ako magtuturo. Practicum ko na next sem! Excited na ako =) Medyo naging interested na rin ako magturo sa mga students with autism. For sensorial impairments ang direction ko dati pero..biglang nag-iba ata ang hilig. Tignan na lang natin..Pero dream ko pa rin maging storyteller ng Adarna. Hay. Sana magkaroon na talaga ng maayos na panahon para gawin yun. =)

Pananatili

2007-02-18T03:06:00.000+08:00

Pananatili

Huwag mong naisin lisanin kita
Wala kong hangaring ika'y mag-isa
Sa'n man magtungo, ako'y sasabay,
Magkabalikat sa paglalakbay.

Mananahan sa tahanang sisilong sa'yo.
Yayakapin ang landasin at bayan mo.

Poon mo ay aking ipagbubunyi,
at iibigin ng buong sarili.
Sa'n man abutin ng paghahanap,
Ikaw at ako'y magkasamang ganap.

Ipahintulot nawa ng Panginoon,
ni kamataya'y maglalaho, anino ng kahapon.

Dahil pag-ibig ang alay sa'yo, mananatili ako.
H'wag nang naising tayo'y mawalay,
H'wag nang isiping
Magwawakas ang paglalakbay.

I remembered telling one of my friends, "Ang sipag mo naman mag-update ng blog."
"Baka malimutan ko kasi kaagad kaya sinusulat ko na."

Pondering about so many ideas is sometimes not good especially if you only keep them to yourself. I have a lot of things to tell and share to other people what happened in my comparative literature class, observations of regular and special schools, the film-showing of Alyana (a child with autism), friends in educ and ICTUS...they just keep on coming. But, somehow, articulating my thoughts on paper seems to be too difficult that I stopped writing...at least for awhile.

The first time I heard "Pananatili" was during our first CSC choir prayer session for the year 2007. For some reason, my closest friends are the ones who come first into my mind as I listen to the song. There are times that we don't see each other that often. That's inevitable. But somehow..you can still feel their presence anywhere. You'll find yourself suddenly laughing or smiling because of that memory.

Pananatili. Not everyone can retain friendship for a long time. As Saint Augustine said,

"Some things are to be enjoyed, others are to be used, and
there are others which are to be enjoyed and used.
Those things which are to be enjoyed make us blessed.
Those things which are to be used help and, as it were, sustain us as we move toward blessedness in order to gain and cling to those things which make us blessed.
If we who enjoy and use things, being placed in the midst of things of both kinds, wish to enjoy those things which should be used, our course will be impeded and sometimes deflected, so that we are retarded in obtaining those things which are to be enjoyed, or even prevented altogether, shackled by an inferior love."

Hope I could write more or make time to write in this blog. My writing skills are becoming too rusty. Haha. Let's just see how it goes.

Provocation

2006-11-18T14:40:00.000+08:00

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep

because reality is finally better than your dreams." (Dr. Seuss)

I'm jealous. Jealous because other people can write their own thoughts without hesitations. They just want to let their emotions out in the open. Not caring what other people think. They just write. There's nothing wrong with it, really. Then again, I remembered our discussion in our comparative literature class. How would you know if there's any bearing or meaning in what you're writing? That maybe you're just writing for your own sake. Honestly, I am guilty of doing this. If you've been reading my entries, yes..I write about my side of the story. Sure, maybe there are other people who could relate to what I'm saying but...it only ends there. I remembered my professor telling us that there are essays that are mind-numbing..and you're just reading it just for the sake of reading something.

I remembered one of my spiritual direction sessions. Don't get me wrong. I'm not the kind of person who's very consistent and religious in the spiritual aspect. But someone told me that the relationship between you and God should be mutual. Obvious naman yun di ba? Yet it's more difficult than it sounds. Apparently, I've been praying for my family, friends, problems, and so on. That my prayer seems to be one-sided...it only comes from me. Vanity. Probably one of the most common sin of mankind. I can't remember if I have truly given Him the chance to talk or listen to what He's trying to say. Everyone has their own empty space..and it's up to them how they can fill that space. Prayer may be one of the ways to do that. Nevertheless, it can never be done alone.

Like in non-fiction writing, there's no chance of dreaming about your ideal plot, characters, setting, and so on. Everything that you'll be writing is about reality...and you'll be keeping in mind that there are readers who want to understand what you're writing about. I felt challenged with that kind of calling...because how can you make a simple subject so profound in the eyes of other people?

Then again, life is never easy. It just never is. But that's not enough reason to be hard on yourself and to stop you from doing what you need to do. I need to write. Some people may agree or disagree with it. Some people may even mock what I'm saying. Whatever reaction that may be, I let it out because it feels so much better to be free than to let the idea hide in the dark.

Hope

2006-11-02T19:59:00.000+08:00

Seven months. I stopped writing in this blog for seven months. And I could think of numerous reasons why I stopped. Too busy for school, fieldwork, ictus, choir. I rather spend my free time for something or someone else rather than writing on this blog and letting other people know what's going on in my life.

During the first semester, I wrote at least ten essays for my developmental psychology class. It was the first time that a professor noticed my work. Haha. I'm not used to getting personal compliments from college professors..as far as I can recall. And that helped because she made me believe that maybe..just maybe I can write. And one of the essays that I enjoyed doing is about our psychosocial development. Here's an exerpt of the essay:

Looking Back

"You are young and in love.

Every young man in your position is the most miserable young man who ever lived." (Neil Gaiman)

I keep two journals. The first one is a prayer journal where I write down quotes from the bible and reflect about it. The second one is my personal journal..all of my dreams, fears, and of course, secret love is hidden in that journal. Yes. I think I'd been in love. You may call it foolish love, infatuation, whatever it may be. And then, I also met this one thing that I didn't expect to come along with: pain.

....I took it hard. And for the past few months, I've been accepting and dealing with reality. Now I know how it feels to be empty every time I wake up. That there's nothing to look forward to anymore. But every time I would feel bad, I would read my journals and the letters that my family and friends gave me. Making me reminisce of the good memories that I have. I was born and grew up in a simple village at Marikina. That's where my mom got my nickname, Keena. Though our relationship is not perfect, I still have to say that my family and friends love me so much. My home is the place where I first felt love and gave love to other people, especially my family....

...Why do I go back to these letters? Because those letters remind me of the primary reason why I fall in love with them. And if we want to keep our relationship stronger, both sides should do something about it. As what Paul Coelho said, "...when we love, we always strive to become better than what we are."

I give more time to talk to my family and friends, and know what they've been doing. Of course, I also share my own stories just to let them know I'm okay. I also got myself more exposed to the less privileged children and share to them the love I felt from my family and friends. As mentioned in my previous essays, I visit the Bagong Silagan Area in Payatas and the Philippine Children's Medical Center. And I get more opportunity every time I do my field work in Special Education wherein we observe different exceptionalities of children and adolescents. Sharing my love to people whom I do not know makes me more hopeful. As for my strong persistence and oversensitivity, I don't confront the person involved in the problem immediately. I stop for awhile, calm myself, and put myself in that person's perspective. That there is a need to lose myself. It's really hard to do especially if there are times you are tempted to just run away. What I would do is explain to that person that I still needed to settle myself but we would definitely talk to each other soon. That really helps because I would realize what he/she might be going through.

After everything that had happened, I am still that sweet and affectionate person. Although I am very quiet most of the time these past few months, I am still outspoken whenever needed. Patience, forgiveness of oneself and others, and hope are more strengthened in my life. Times of distress can really make you learn and grow, just like what it has done for me. Yes, I'm still capable of getting angry but I guess there are certain things that you just have to let go.

Loving someone hurts when he can never love you in return. But my family made me realize that getting hurt must not stop you from believing in love. I lost one person and, surprisingly, I gained even more friends. Why should I make things more difficult when there are just some people who are right there in front of you...also waiting to be loved?

Don't get me wrong. I didn't write this because I want to share my misery about love to other people...many people are already doing that for me. But this is who I am now. Flawed but still trying to be a good person. I also want to change the theme of my blog though. Enough stories about myself..that's one of the reasons why I stopped updating. I don't know what I would do with my blog anymore. But hey! Let's just see how it goes.

The Polar Express

2006-04-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

The Polar Express

Chris Van Allsburg

"On Christman morning my little sister Sarah and I opened our presents.

When it looked as if everything had been unwrapped, Sarah found one last small box behind the tree.

It had my name on it.

Inside was the silver bell!

There was a note: "Found this on the seat of my sleigh. Fix the hole in your pocket."

Signed, "Mr. C."

I shook the bell. It made the most beautiful sound my sister and I had ever heard.

But my mother said, "Oh that's too bad."

"Yes," said my father, "it's broken."

When I'd shaken the bell, my parents had not heard a sound.

At one time most of my friends could hear the bell,

but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them.

Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound.

Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me

as it does for all who truly believe."

The Sandman

2006-04-06T14:37:00.000+08:00

The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes

The Sound of Her Wings

"I find myself wondering about humanity.

Their attitude to my sister's (Death) gift is so strange.

Why do they fear the sunless lands?

It is as natural to die as it is to be born.

But they fear her. Dread her.

Feebly they attempt to placate her.

They do not love her.

Many thousands of years ago I heard a song in a dream, a mortal song that celebrated her gift.

I still remember it.

Death is before me today:

Like the recovery of a sick man,

Like going forth into a garden after sickness.

Death is before me today:

Like the odor of myrrh,

Like sitting under a sail in a good wind.

Death is before me today:

Like the course of a stream,

Like the return of a man from the war-galley to his house.

Death is before me today:

Like the home that a man longs to see,

After years spent as a captive.

That forgotten poet understood her gifts.

My sister has a function to perform, even as I do.

The Endless have their responsibilities.

I have responsibilities.

I walk by her side, and the darkness lifts from my soul.

I walk with her, and I hear the gentle beating of mighty wings...."

-Morpheus

Morpheus, the Lord of Dreams, was with his sister Death when he was thinking about these things. Seeing death as a blessing seems to be so difficult for other people to do. Nevertheless, there's no point in holding onto someone or something for so long. There could be a reason or a plan why these events happen. Until one looks for that reason, there's no point in stopping one's life to move on. Each individual has a unique responsibility to fulfill, and he/she should just continue to live with it and to hold true to it.

The Sandman: Dream Country

A Midsummer Nights Dream

"And I wonder why I wonder .

Will is a willing vehicle for the great sotires.

Through him they will live for an age of man;

and his words will echo down through time.

It is what he wanted.

But he did not understand the price.

Mortals never do.

They only see the prize, their hearts desire,

their dream.

But the price of getting what you wanted

is getting what you once wanted."

-Morpheus

In this story, Morpheus invited the faeries to earth as his gratitude for the happiness that these faeries have given to him. He asked William Shakespeare to write a play about these faeries . Obviously, that play was Shakepeares’ A Midsummer Nights Dream. In return, Morpheus gave Shakespeare what he desires most, having a son of his own. Shakespeare got his wish, but he was so preoccupied in making his play that he had eventually forgotten what he once wanted...and without realizing it, someone was already taking away his own son.

The Sandman: A Game of You

I Woke Up and One of Us Was Crying

“Well, that everybody has a secret world inside of them.
No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside.
Inside of them they’ve all got
unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid amazing worlds.
Not just one world.
Hundred of them.
Thousands, maybe.
Isn’t that a weird thought?”

-Barbara

2005-12-25T21:16:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Renaissance

2005-12-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar. I feel like I've just got to bite a cat! I feel like if I don't bite a cat before sundown, I'll go crazy! But then I just take a deep breath and forget about it. That's what is known as real maturity.

(Charles Schulz; Snoopy in Peanuts)

I can't believe I had such a great time during my birthday. I feel so blessed because my family, friends, and even strangers have made me feel as though today is a special day. In spite of having continuous exams and reports yesterday and even today, I'm still relieved that these people have made me feel inspired and enlightened once again. There are even people whom I haven't seen for such a long time but still managed to remember my birthday! Truly God has answered my prayers. I shouldn't take these people for granted and keep on pondering about matters that shouldn't be given importance. Rather, they should be loved, cherished, and treasured because these people have accepted my true self. And that's all that matters.

Mitch Albom's Five People You Meet in Heaven

2005-12-06T21:28:00.000+08:00

“…the secret of heaven: That each affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one.” (quote from “The Five People You Meet in Heaven)

Ever felt that the things that have been happening in your life do not make any sense? I remembered hoping to reach for something that I really want. But when I finally have it, after everything that I worked hard for, there seem to be something missing in it. The potentials, the people, and the relationship that I have with the Lord…I took them for granted. I’ve been too obsessed to look and reach what I thought would make me happy; but, in the end, it made me feel more miserable than ever. But, as everything that’s been happening in one’s life, I let it go and move on.

Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet in Heaven is such a wonderful and an inspiring novel about Eddie who is the maintenance of a carnival, Ruby Pier. Mostly, people feel so ordinary that they dream and aspire to become somebody important/famous/wealthy in the future. That what they already have is not enough. Eddie dreamed of becoming an engineer. He despised the idea of being stuck in a carnival for the rest of his life. But, then again, he turned out to become somebody whom he never thought he would be. Fixing the carnival rides, scolding teenagers from hurting themselves, and roaming around Ruby Pier just to make sure everyone is safe. He wasn’t proud of what he was doing. To him, life doesn’t make any sense. Little did he realize that he became the head of the maintenance to make good to someone whom he had hurt. Sometimes, we hurt other people unconsciously. In Eddie’s situation, when he lost himself during the war, he tried destroying everything in the battle field. He didn’t know that, as he was burning one of the nipa huts in the area, a little girl was hiding in there and waiting for her mother to come.

Have you ever thought of people whom you may be closely associated to without realizing it? Sometimes I ask myself if I ever touched other peoples’ lives. Am I just an invisible entity to them, or at least I meant something to them? The five people that Eddie met gave him five lessons:

“That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind.” –Joseph Corvelzchik

“…Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices. A mother works so her son can go to school. A daughter moves home to take care of her sick father….Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.” –the Captain

“…Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” –Ruby

“Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or trousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.” –Marguerite

“ ‘ I was sad because I didn’t do anything with my life. I was nothing. I accomplished nothing. I was lost. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there.’
‘Supposed to be there,’
‘Fixing rides? That was my existence?...Why?’
‘Children, you keep them safe. You make good for me.’”

Accept. Love. Live. Life is not all about making yourself famous or wealthy, or sulking about the things that can never happen to you. But rather, life is all about preparing yourself for what is the best thing that is to come: heaven.

Untitled

2005-07-17T13:55:00.000+08:00

“But he trusted in the old man, who had said that, when you really want something, the universe comprises in your favor” (quoted from “The Alchemist”)

“ ‘So your adventures are over?’
‘No. To live. To live is another great adventure.’” (quoted from the movie “Hook”)

Ever wondered why I’ve been putting these quotes or excerpts as an introduction for my entry? I love remembering them every time I watch a movie or read a book. I tried jotting them in my small notebook or saving them in my cellphone. And now, I want to share these quotes with you as a good start of my entry. I’m not really a writer but, at least, you’ll read something profound in the beginning of my essay.

Imagining oneself being in a far-off place, away from reality, with magical creatures and magnificent scenery seems to be everyone’s favorite fantasy. As a child, I loved watching “Hocus Pocus”, “Never Ending Story” and, of course, “Hook”. Every time I would go to my grandmother’s house, my cousin and I would pretend to be the characters from the movie “Hook” and would just watch it over and over again. Dreaming beyond your wildest imagination seems to be so easy when you’re a kid.

Learning how to fly begins with remembering one’s happy thoughts. Peter Pan, who was portrayed by Robin Williams, forgot his childhood, his adventures with the lost boys and tinkerbell when Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) kidnapped Peter’s children to attain revenge and redeem his dignity. So Peter had to recall being that little kid that he used to be. Little did he know that he is not only saving his own children, he is also saving himself from the man who only yearns for wealth and success to the young boy who gives laughter and inspiration to every child who feels lost and alone.

Unconscious to peoples’ minds, society has strongly influenced us to become an individual that is favorable to everybody (hope that I got my lesson from socio 10 class right though). For example, some students rank intellectual abilities according to their courses or rate of financial income once they graduate. And because of that, instead of choosing something one truly wants, he/she opts for the path which is beneficial not only for the society but most especially for himself/herself. I think everyone, in one level or another, felt as if they were an orphan..a lost child as Peter Pan did. But being lost is not really a bad thing. Like Peter, instead of mourning or sulking about the terrible things that happened, he just continued to hold his head up high, to fly as fast as he can, and to fight anyone who stopped him and his friends from having fun, from being a kid. Reliving the spirit of the child in each and every one of us can boost one’s energy to become motivated and inspired. Awakening that spirit can make one realize that nothing can ever be impossible if he/she truly aspires for it. And if only one can hold on to his/her happy thought strongly, maybe someday, he/she can also be able to fly.

Being an Ictusian

2005-07-13T19:28:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes you have to meet the wrong people to get the right ones” (quote from Saj Ocampo, an active ictusian and an amazing friend)

During my first year in UP, I was too enthusiastic about my studies. Sure, I had good grades but there was something missing in my college life. I kept on going to the library (although I still continue doing that…hehe) just to prepare in advance for any exams, homeworks, and papers. I didn’t join any organizations because I thought that I still can’t balance academics and co-curricular activities during my first year. So….I had a few friends. Sometimes, I ate lunch alone in the cafeteria. I was so desperate to look for friends so I tried knowing my classmates in my general and major subjects. Was I successful? Hmmm….not that much. As I’d said in my first entry in this blog, “…you can't get all the people whom you want to be friends with all the time. I, myself, weren't accepted by others.” It was so depressing. Though I’m still fortunate of meeting two classmates from my Philo 1 class. Not only did I appreciate philosophy, I enjoyed and learned a lot from the subject…thanks to these people. They are truly nice and humble friends. For almost two years, we’d just text each other just to know that we’re doing okay. Nevertheless, my quest for true friends went on.

Then, ICTUS (In-Christ Thrust for University Students) came into my life. I enjoyed most of the apostolates in the org. I got to interact with students from the fifth-sixth grade, and I also had the opportunity to tutor them. I really enjoyed the times when I read a story for them (that’s why I want to apply as a storyteller for Adarna Books this semester). I also had the chance to interact with patients in the Philippines Children’s Medical Center (PCMC). I was so happy of sharing wonderful conversations, and of playing gameboards with them. At least for 1 ½ -2 hrs, I made someone happy. I love the service that I’ve been giving to other people and I have to thank ICTUS for making it possible.

And, of course, I couldn’t enjoy these activities without the ictusians that I’d been with. I’ve finally found people whom I can share my thoughts, talents, laughters….the list goes on. I feel very blessed because not only do I gain good friends but we also serve together for God’s greater glory.

As I continue to discover and to accept myself and my purpose in life, going out of the UP campus and serving other institutions (i.e. hopefully Cupertino, Adarna Books, and UPSEC) is another beginning. Change is inevitable, as one of my closest friends once said. But as I embark on this new journey, becoming a true ictusian is a part of me that I can never forget.

Nothing without faith. Never without passion. Always for Kuya Jess.

Where do I begin?

2005-07-13T08:57:00.000+08:00

“At times, the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us when we say that there is more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.” (excerpt from the movie “A Series of Unfortunate Events”)

‘Why do we fall, Master Bruce?’
‘So we can learn how to pick ourselves up.’ (excerpt from the movie “Batman Begins”)

Wow. It’s been a while since I updated my blog. I don’t know. I’ve been looking for an inspiration…for a reason to write something relevant in my blog. Have I found it? Hmm…not exactly…but I guess writing once again is a good start. I’ve been in my “nerdy” mode (aka Kuya Mark mode) ever since classes started. Though I’ve been focusing on my studies more compared to my last semester, sometimes my motivation to study hard is slowly diminishing. That there’s something missing in what I’m doing. As for now, I’ll just keep looking for it and hopefully regain my cheerful self again.

We had this discussion during my edfd 120 (philosophical foundations of education) class. I really enjoyed listening to my prof. Although most of the people think that being a teacher is as easy as it seems to be, my professor made me realize that learning & applying the psychological theories, and preparing lesson plans for the students can become complicated. For example, BF Skinner’s behavioral theory generally entails that the environment can be controlled in order to achieve desirable behaviors. However, this can also imply that if one is controlling a person’s environment…isn’t it the same as controlling the thinking of the person? It’s not that I’m against his theory. It’s just that I never thought of the implications that some of these theories can bring. I don’t know if I’m making any sense but, after our discussion, I start to have this strange yearning for knowledge. I want to reread all of the psychological theories that I’ve already studied. Hehe…that’s a lot of catching up to do.

I like hanging around with people who are inspiring. Making me feel good about myself and the world in spite of the things that’s been happening. Last Saturday, I had lunch with Maite del Rio (one of my closest friends in high school). I really enjoyed the conversations we had. From recalling our highschool memories to wondering about our future professions, the laughter that we shared is priceless. I wish I could reunite with my other highschool friends as well. I miss them so much…

Well, I guess I’ll be heading back to reality. I should start designing my application form for my other org, looking for sample resumes (please email me or send me a message in friendster if anyone of you knows how to make one…I really have no idea), making a letter of request for another volunteer work, AND preparing for my subjects tomorrow. Don’t know how long will it take to write another entry in my blog. Just hope that I’ll start making sense by the time comes.

Feels Like Home

2005-05-25T08:28:00.000+08:00

i just read my last post. too many grammatical errors. i was too sleepy and lazy to proofread it before. sorry, i'm particularly conscious with my grammars...i don't know why. well, i won't be posting any pictures for this entry. we still haven't downloaded the pictures from New Mexico. i had a great time there. i think you would conclude the same thing when you'll see the pictures. i think i gained at least five pounds since i overate, overslept, overplayed mahjong, and so on. but most importantly, i loved seeing lola nels and lola chols again. they were really kind-hearted people. no question about that. even though our visit lasted for only a week, it was wonderful.

only one week to go and i'll be going back home. yehey!! =) i think i have already prepared the things that i'll be doing back home. that's how excited i am. though i'll really miss my relatives here especially my sister and brother-in-law, i can't wait to see the people from kamias, my friends in high school and college, and of course, my brother and my dad =) it will be nice to finally go home. =)

Book of Unforgettable Quotes

2005-05-25T04:14:00.000+08:00

ate dada was the one who suggested this to me. she started this with her friend in highschool. hmmm...maybe i should start making one. although the title is quite deceiving because it seems that the book contains wise sayings about dealing with problems in life, it contains wacky ideas to make life much easier to bear with. when i was staying in New Mexico and "coaching" my sister as she played mahjong, ate dada told me "basta kalaban, kinakailangan na harangin mo agad." she almost won that round when she said that. we kept on laughing and losing at the same time. and she kept on telling me, "don't worry. we won in spirit." it was pretty funny. she also said another quote from her friend, "it is better to be equipped than to be compared." what the?! though i didn't understand what that really meant, the fun of just having spontaneous thoughts about life is hilarious (since sometimes it doesn't make any sense) and, at the same time, amazing. after all, life is a mystery. you'll never know what might come.

sometimes it's difficult to think of something to write about. i truly admire the people who really take the effort to reflect on their thoughts. and also, i find it fun just reading entries about what other people might be thinking and sharing it with others.

obviously, i feel so idle today. this is my second entry for today. well, i didn't have any internet access for almost a week so i'm making the most out of this opportunity. i'll be doing my laundry later on. and tomorrow, i'll be heading to san jose. another road trip. well, kuya richard told me that he had a wonderful time there so i'm sure the trip will be worthwhile.

Another wonderful day!! =)

2005-05-17T14:05:00.000+08:00

Everyone was all dressed up for Tito Randy and Tita Thuy's (though her name is pronounced "twee") engagement party. There were eight guys (including Kuya Mark, Tito Egay, Tito Edwin, Lolo Romy, Tito Roland, and of course, Tito Randy) who gave Tita Thuy eight gifts. It's part of the Vietnamese tradition. I think it's a sign that the parents are in approval of Tito Randy's proposal. It was pretty cool. We got to meet her relatives and eat lots of vietnamese food!! FYI, there was lechon!! =) Woohoo!! =) Good Eating =) (Again, you can click the pictures to make it bigger.)

And, would you believe that after that engagement party we went to another celebration?! Yup!! I don't know the name of Lolo Romy's friend. Though I know that there celebrating the death anniversary of their grandmother. According to my mom, it's a Filipino tradition which is called "Babang Luksa".

And, Ate Dada heard from Kuya JB (Kuya Mark's brother) that Wendy's Hamburger was giving out free frosties to win the customers back after the "human finger scandal". Wow...could that day can get any better..=)

They were also offering free face painting for kids and adults....Tito Edwin could'nt just let that pass by....

The day did not end there. We still had dinner in Tita Desi and Tito Egay's house. We had "sinigang na salmon" and baked asparagus with melted cheese (care of Tita Desi and Tito Edwin). Of course, the showdown of the videoke king/queen was on!! =)

It was a fun day!! =) I am truly going to miss the people that I'd been with during my summer vacation.

Seasons of Love

2005-05-07T06:58:00.000+08:00

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

I really enjoyed watching "Rent". The cast memebers have powerful voices. I really admired them especially the female soloist of the song "Seasons of Love". Before, I had this craze of becoming a famous theater actress. I tried auditioning for a drama club when I was in highschool (though I never passed those auditions), and taking acting workshops. I really had fun but I think theater is not really meant for me. What I really loved the most as I go chasing different professional fields just to find the right one, I have my family and friends who keep on encouraging me to reach for my dreams, to become the best that I can be. I'm really blessed to have them in my life.

I really had a great time here in the US. Of course, I truly miss the activities that I've been doing in school but I can't believe that I'm enjoying my visit especially with my relatives who have welcomed us in their homes. I enjoyed seeing different sites of nature (I'll post the pictures in my next blogs), shopping for clothes and shoes, and most importantly...food hunting!! =)

Yup. I also felt the cool breeze of winter for a day. Winter was about to end and I was glad that there was still snow along the mountain that Lolo Romy (our official tour guide in California) took us. I was wearing four layers of long sleeves that time. Sure it was very chilly but it was fun!! My cousins were really hilarious...and it was very infectious =) I can't help myself from smiling every time I'm with them.

Of course, my visit would never be complete if my sister wasn't there =) I will really miss her when I go back to the Philippines. I can't forget the different conversations that we had...from our wacky ideas to her words of wisdom (naks!!), my sister is really the best!! =)

Sure, I had my moments of being a drama queen....

...but I'm glad that everything is working out. =) As the last quote from the series "Grey's Anatomy" says, "Knowing is better than wondering. Waking up is better than sleeping.....and whatever failures that may come, it never beats the heck out of trying."

Well that's about it. Hope you enjoyed reading this. =)

Note: Just in case you didn't notice, you can click the pictures to make them larger =)

Disneyland California Rocks!! (Part One)

2005-04-29T12:42:00.000+08:00

Finally, I learned how to add pictures in my blog (thanks to my Kuya Richard and Ate Dada, the two experts of making great blogs). I haven't updated my blog eversince I arrived in the US. For the past few weeks, we're always on the road. Eventhough the road trip was exhausting and excruciating (given the fact that Stephanie, my cousin, and I were seated at the back of a 12-seater van...believe me...it was not fun), it was worth it. The sites that we've seen are amazing and our family has to thank our relatives who have welcomed us in their homes and toured us around the state. We are truly blessed to have them. :)

Our first stop wasn't exactly at Disneyland but these are the first set of pictures that I've uploaded in the photobucket. These are only a few of the pictures since I can't upload all of the pictures in my blog. Anyway, if you're still interested to see some of the pictures , you can see them at http://photobucket.com/albums/y164/keenster13.

While these girls are waiting at the restroom....

(From the left: Lola Lil, Tita Hazel, AJ, Tita Jo, and uhmm...some stranger)

We are taking pictures by the dock. :)

Then we were figuring out what to do since we still had to wait for two hours for the Indiana Jones Adventure Ride. So...we decided to go to the "It's a Small World" Ride. And you would think that that ride could drive you insane after that....

From the left in the second row: my mom, lola lil, and tita jo; From the left in the first row: tita hazel (who toured us during our first day in Disney Downtown), me, and stephanie (i really had a great time with stephanie!! :) i never knew that she's so fun to be with.)

Okay...they were looking for the only Filipina doll in the ride...But me, I was smiling infront of the camera. I know. I'm so vain when it comes to taking pictures :) hehehehehe :)

Ain't she cute?!? She's my cousin, AJ. She really had fun during the ride :) She kept on asking my sister to take pictures of her :)

And there's the filipina doll!! Yey!! :)

Here's a cute picture of me and Stepanie :)

Well, there you have it. I don't know but I"m still having a hard time doing this blog. It really takes awhile and it's also getting really late. I also have to wake up early tomorrow so I hope that I can update this blog as soon as I can :) Hope you enjoyed seeing some pictures :)

Next Stop: Indiana Jones Adventure Ride, Buzz Lightyear, Tarzan Treehouse and a lot more to come!! :)

Photobucket

2005-04-29T11:15:00.000+08:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

2005-04-10T03:05:00.000+08:00

Richo and the beast

2005-04-10T02:09:00.000+08:00

Me and My Family

Pope John Paul II, My Friends, and Me

2005-04-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

“Let us tell the world of His love,

the greatest love the world has known

Search the world for those who have walked

astray and lead them home.

Fill the world's darkest corners

with His fight from up above

Walk every step, every mile,

every road and tell the world

Tell the world of His love.”
(from the song “Tell the world of His Love”)

All I ever wanted was to reunite with my highschool friends today; but, something more worthwhile happened. Today is the burial of the pope, the big guy with the biggest heart. When he visited our country, all I ever remembered about Pope John Paul II was seeing him waving happily at us as my mother and I waited for his arrival for three-five hours. And, of course, I could never forget the song “Tell the World of His Love” which is the theme song for our world youth day. Before, that incident wasn’t a big deal to me…although I enjoyed seeing him smiling sincerely to everybody who had been waiting for his visit. To be honest, I never had an intimate relationship with God until I entered first year college. Now, I’m beginning to open myself not only to the people around me but most especially to God. And I’m grateful for people like Pope John Paul II who continue to inspire others to spread the word of the Lord. To never be afraid of expressing his/her love for God.

Somehow, everybody is influenced by the pope in so many ways. Whenever someone is asked why he/she is mourning so much for the loss of the pope, he/she usually says that the pope showed us how much he loved the Lord, and did so many great things for the Catholic community. It is truly a great loss that he has already passed away. As the casket of the pope was carried into St. Peter’s Basilica, I can’t help myself from crying as I see everyone pouring their emotions for the pope. A lot of people love him so much. A single moment with him seems to be worthwhile. There is something in his soul that is so special, and I can’t help my heart from melting because of the warmth and kindness that he has been giving to so many people.

Today, almost every nation has expressed the love that they have for the pope. Gathering and praying together in spite of the differences of their religion prove the pope is still doing wonders in our hearts. Sure, he has already passed away. But he will continue to be alive in us, and we will continue to inspire others as he has also done to each and every one of us. I’m sure that he is already up there with God, smiling upon this gathering. For even though he is already gone, the love he showered among everyone is still growing and becoming even more beautiful.

Yes, my friends and I still talk about what’s been going on with our lives. We really had a great time and enjoyed seeing each other once again. But as we jumped off to different conversations, we kept the television on the CNN channel where the burial of Pope John Paul II was televised. What’s amazing about it was the conversation suddenly stops and we would just end up watching the ceremony....as if we were gathered together for a reason…to see the pope as he will now live forever in the presence of God.

journal 101

2005-04-06T19:26:00.000+08:00

"No one can ever know me.
No one can ever see me.
Seems you're the only one who knows what is like to be me.
Someone to face the day with.Make it through all the mess with.
Someone I'll always laugh with.
Even at worst, I'm best with you."
(from the song "I'll be there for you" by the Rembrandts)

All I ever did for this day was organize the clothes that I need to bring to the states. Yes. I'll be taking a two-month vacation there with my mom, my grandmother, and my sister. I'm so psyched to see my sister again!! Anyway, while I was folding the clothes I'll be bringing, I was also watching "Friends" at the same time. For the past weeks, I already watched almost five seasons over and over again. I know. Some people might even think of me as a freak who really should get a life. But even if I watched the episodes for the umpteenth time, I still end up laughing as loud as I can.

The fact that these six people (in spite of their annoying habits and weird personalities) still want to be together for so many years is the best thing about the sitcom. It reminds me of my highschool and college friends. I love having close friends. Its fun to even have nonsense conversations and you're just going to end up laughing about it. Some people might say its difficult to find true friends in this world. I think they're wrong. Whenever I feel comfortable being myself with somebody new, that's when I feel that there something special about this person. Sure, you can't get all the people whom you want to be friends with all the time. I, myself, weren't accepted by others. But if you just keep looking and getting to know different people from school, organizations, and the like, you'll end up having yourself a friend. For me, it's one of the best treasures in life. Having amazing and true friends are already enough for me to survive whether it may be academic, social, or personal problems...I know there's always someone there to back me up.

Now, I have been searching websites or even books about special education. I am thinking whether I am going to continue to major in Math or to prefer Special Education instead. Sometimes, I can't help myself from thinking that I'm not competent enough to be a Math major. That I'm probably in the wrong field. It's not that I'm insecure of my abilities. It's just that I finally admitted and accepted the fact that maybe Math is not meant for me. Sure I passed (averagely) most of my exams..but I didn't even bother checking the answer key. As long as I passed the test, I don't even care where I made a mistake. Suppose I haven't entirely understood the lesson, I'm just going to say to myself that I already pass the exam so why would I even care. See. The thought of hearing myself saying these things worries me. It's a good thing that I'll be going away for a while. Somewhere that I can reevaluate myself. I hope that everything goes well before it's too late. I just don't want to end up teaching something that is not really meant for me.