No one can ever see me.
Seems you're the only one who knows what is like to be me.
Someone to face the day with.Make it through all the mess with.
Someone I'll always laugh with.
Even at worst, I'm best with you."
(from the song "I'll be there for you" by the Rembrandts)
All I ever did for this day was organize the clothes that I need to bring to the states. Yes. I'll be taking a two-month vacation there with my mom, my grandmother, and my sister. I'm so psyched to see my sister again!! Anyway, while I was folding the clothes I'll be bringing, I was also watching "Friends" at the same time. For the past weeks, I already watched almost five seasons over and over again. I know. Some people might even think of me as a freak who really should get a life. But even if I watched the episodes for the umpteenth time, I still end up laughing as loud as I can.
The fact that these six people (in spite of their annoying habits and weird personalities) still want to be together for so many years is the best thing about the sitcom. It reminds me of my highschool and college friends. I love having close friends. Its fun to even have nonsense conversations and you're just going to end up laughing about it. Some people might say its difficult to find true friends in this world. I think they're wrong. Whenever I feel comfortable being myself with somebody new, that's when I feel that there something special about this person. Sure, you can't get all the people whom you want to be friends with all the time. I, myself, weren't accepted by others. But if you just keep looking and getting to know different people from school, organizations, and the like, you'll end up having yourself a friend. For me, it's one of the best treasures in life. Having amazing and true friends are already enough for me to survive whether it may be academic, social, or personal problems...I know there's always someone there to back me up.
Now, I have been searching websites or even books about special education. I am thinking whether I am going to continue to major in Math or to prefer Special Education instead. Sometimes, I can't help myself from thinking that I'm not competent enough to be a Math major. That I'm probably in the wrong field. It's not that I'm insecure of my abilities. It's just that I finally admitted and accepted the fact that maybe Math is not meant for me. Sure I passed (averagely) most of my exams..but I didn't even bother checking the answer key. As long as I passed the test, I don't even care where I made a mistake. Suppose I haven't entirely understood the lesson, I'm just going to say to myself that I already pass the exam so why would I even care. See. The thought of hearing myself saying these things worries me. It's a good thing that I'll be going away for a while. Somewhere that I can reevaluate myself. I hope that everything goes well before it's too late. I just don't want to end up teaching something that is not really meant for me.
